How To Get Along with Your Enemy.
The best way to get along with your enemy is when you see them, glance at them, lift your brow and look away-do NOT, by any means knock their teeth out and scrub the floor with their face. As much as you may want to, I don’t think jailhouse orange flatters any skin tone.
Make sure you never ever call and tell them, “I thought it was illegal for you to reproduce, your looks were transferred to your kids. *gag*.” Because, well, that would be awful.
Now most definitely don’t EVER send them a peace-offering, no matter how beautiful them cupcakes can be (or any baked good for that matter)- I think they’ll definitely taste the laxative or they’ll figure it out eventually.
Do not write a book about them and title it, “How to be UGLY: Inside & Out!“ And even if you may find it irresistible, opt out on your second best-seller based on them titled, “Learn How to be a Totally Controlling & Imbalanced Wife: Ruin Your Marriage!“
Also, even though they may need to see it in writing. Don’t send them a letter explaining to them in detail as to WHY they do not have any friends and no, drug-addicts and loose women do not count as friends.
Do however send them a book on nutrition because heredity is a huge factor on obesity. (Pun intended.)
Also, don’t get annoyed. Remember that imitation is the highest form of flattery. They practically wish they were you anyhow. So keep doing YOU. (They’ll keep doing YOU too, hehe.)
Lastly, this one was taken by Ms. Mama Kat herself, do NOT threaten to call animal control services if they don’t stop visiting your blog. LOL!
Now, in all honesty. I’m not joking, I really am though!
So on the real, go out and be positive, let bygones be bygones and forgive. That goes to say you don’t have to forget but, let go because making a friend is much, much, more rewarding! I know we all at one point come across people who we don’t necessarily care for or vice versa. I know I have, they may or may not have been inspiration for this post. You just gotta read through the lines.
It’s a part of life. We just gotta take things lightly and roll with the punches, though there’s no need to reciprocate, it’s nice to just have a good laugh!
Anyway, let’s keep it going bloggers, write a “light-hearted” post or leave your comment here about how you would “get along” with an enemy. Fictional or not, it’s kinda fun!
Til then, cheers m’deres!
*This post was inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop’s past prompt.