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Killing Us Softly 4: What Are You Teaching Your Daughters?

Two little girls walk in an apple orchard holding hands.

Killing Us Softly 4.

So, as you may know I have two little girls.

No boys as of yet but, girls.

I came across this video and it struck a cord. It’s something that all moms must think about at one point. I’ve thought about it quite often actually or should I say worried about?

Well, it’s how us women and young girls are made to feel about our self-image. The force to strive to achieve unattainable perfection.

Here is the video:

Watch This!

I have to say that, yes, I have at one point felt this way. I mean we all have whether we admit or not. To this day I think I may not be entirely happy with my self-image but I am at peace with it. It is something that took a very long time to do. I know that due to genetics or whatever it may be, I’m probably never going to look like how I did before I had kids. Come the holidays I may gain weight and I’ve always accepted what DNA gave me.

My stature.

Either way, my revelation is that come what may–if I so desire to, I can do it. I can achieve how I want to feel and look.

I just don’t worry about it as much as I used to, to be quite honest. Not to say that I don’t like girly things and don’t like dressing up. It’s just not my number one priority anymore. I’m more worried about my health rather than the aesthetics. Though I still think about it when I am constantly bombarded by ads like the one below.

I wish it only took me 15 minutes a day! 

(Yes, I know that any physical activity is better than no activity.)

Anyway, it’s one thing to be young and highly susceptible to feeling this but, I’ve seen it and heard it from women my own age and older. Harshly criticizing each other for how they look or how much they weigh. Most times it’s because they themselves have been ridiculed and have low self-esteem.

I’ve heard it about myself and quite frankly, I don’t give a damn.

I always say FAT can be fixed but, when you are UGLY inside it shows outwardly and that can’t be fixed.

Now, what I worry about is what I am teaching my girls. They often wonder why they always eat healthy foods. Or why sometimes they can’t eat as much candy as they’d like and so on. I want to teach them that they are beautiful inside and out. That no matter what they look like, all that matters is who they are.

At a young age, you want to teach them to eat healthy to feel healthy not because of how they may look. But, that is a concept that is so hard for young girls to understand. I know at the age of 10-12 and beyond, I didn’t understand that. I’ve seen reactions to this video stating that we should know and accept that these women in advertising AREN’T real. That we need to move on from this. But, young girls who are just discovering who they are do NOT know this.

As women who have already learned this, we know and accept that.

Most of us.

But young girls think this is the standard.

And to me, that’ s not right and what we should be teaching them or encouraging them to think.

What do you think?

Til then, cheers m’deres!

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  1. Nancy,

    I love this post. You know I really identify with this and know it to the things are but they can change. More people need to help put a stop to this madness. I get fashion, but it is about more than that. I think the best we can do as moms is to shape and change our own perspectives so that we can give our daughters and sons the message. To make it crystal clear that this is not the way and it is not okay.

    1. As I mentioned, my stature doesn't help my weight. So when I do put on weight, you see it. So, it's been a struggle but, one thing I do do is NOT show this in front of the girls. But, like I also said–I don't care for others opinions of me and I'm happy how I am and that is something that I DO show my girls. I completely agree with you Patty, you are awesome. 🙂

  2. –Yes, I've watched this video before. Excellent.

    As women, we are sooo brainwashed into what true beauty is or should be.

    The media is a devil.

    What our young girls should know is that *true beauty* is about kindness, compassion, empathy, & brains….

    not about the size of our ass or boobs!


    1. OMG, I LOVE this!! It's unfortunate but, so TRUE. I think it takes a while for us to be like WTH was I thinking? I love how you put it! That is definitely TRUE beauty!

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