When Did I Grow Up?
Since when did running through puddles, making mud pies, chasing butterflies, catching fireflies and even playing with frogs and worms become a thing of the past? Really, when did I grow up?
Oh yeah, when I grew up, bought a house and needed to pay bills, learned about the yucky stuff in life, you know?
All that grown-up stuff.
Not to mention having kids of my own. I pride myself in giving my kids what I had and more in life and that is what I work towards every single day since I’ve had the privilege to carry the title of “Mom”. I just find it harder to do things that I used to a drop of a hat because I don’t know, I guess I know the troubles and dangers of the world. As a child we look at the world through rose-colored glasses, now I find myself completely different.
Don’t get me wrong, I still get out there and do the things with Gabs and will do so for Mimi but, I’m such a germaphobe since I’ve had kids. Always armed with wipes and hand sanitizer. Always reminding everyone to wash their hands before meals and every time we come home. Not to mention I can count how many times Gabs has been sick with both hands. No joke. I believe in immunizations and I believe in prevention. So, this works. LOL.
It’s just funny to me, I’m deathly afraid and disgusted by bugs. I hate going out when the sun goes down because the “bugs” come out so I NEED bug repellent. But, you best believe that as soon as a bug comes near one of my babies that bug is DEAD.
Dead and gone.
I hate walking alongside the beach because who knows what in the world is in that gosh forsaken water, but there I am barefoot with my Peanut. The sun itself is so bad nowadays, “I” have to wear sunscreen. I actually burn if I don’t and I have never, ever had to use sunscreen. (Mind you, I should have as a kid but didn’t.) LOL. So, I slather Gabs up in sunscreen before any outing where she’ll be outside for long periods.
It’s kinda like I wish I can just put them in a bubble and keep ’em there so I know they’ll be safe and healthy but I know that is completely and utterly UNREALISTIC.
So, I suffer in silence. Well, not really but the bug parts, yes. It’s funny actually, I used to be the biggest tomboy in the shadow of my brother for years. I used to pick worms, play with turtles and catch frogs! Just swat bugs and didn’t go running as fast as the wind would carry me in the other direction. It’s scary how fearless I used to be. I’d climb the highest trees, even found myself on roofs with my brother. I honestly don’t know how my parents didn’t have heart attacks considering my antics. Now, I freak when Gabs is on the jungle gym. Really.
Germs were also the last thing on my mind. Now, it’s helmets, elbow and knee pads. It’s organic this BPA free that. Hypoallergenic here and green everything everywhere! Not that there is anything wrong with being green. It’s just funny that with age came more awareness even if we all grew up just fine without all these things. The only thing I find about my generation is the fact that we adapt and we learn.
I try to explain to my mom why we don’t put babies to sleep on their tummies. I try to explain SIDS but it’s knowledge she has when she grew up that stays imprinted in her mind. And ya can’t change her mind. I choose to always stay informed, to stay up to date with the recalls on defects, cadmium, lead etc. That’s why they have studied, to learn more and more on how to minimize problems we face every day.
I tell you!
Anyway, I just got back from the park where we were training Gabs for soccer and you betcha there were bugs out there (UGH, that reminded me of Palin, but too late to change it now =P). TONS. I took a walk and you best believe I avoided them for the life of me. On the way home, a huge mosquito got in and next thing you know. SPLAT on the window. With my bare hand. I laugh at myself a lot. I find myself acting like my parents some days, my gosh, every teenager’s nightmare!
Just thinking about the person I am now and the person, that fearless, tough, headstrong little tomboy I used to be. The one who had so much courage and a little fear. Maybe that kid hasn’t died completely, just removed the rose-colored glasses and is now fending for her own little cubs. I know the harsh reality of the world and because I love my kids so much I want to protect them from it all. But, I love them enough for them to learn on their own as well.
They say that children do not belong to us, we are just entrusted with the responsibility to guide them through life.
Am I the only mommy that goes through this? I hope not!
If you read through all of this, you might want to move on to my next ramble. Like the ‘Things I Learned As a Young Mother.’
When did you realize that you GREW up?
Let me know, til then–cheers m’deres!
Nancy Polanco is a freelance journalist, lifestyle content creator, and editor of Whispered Inspirations. She is a proud Mom to Gabby and Michaela and partner and best friend to Darasak. Having worked as part of a health care team for almost a decade, Nancy is happy to be back to her passion. She is a contributor to the Huffington Post, TODAY’s Parents, and an Oprah Magazine Brand Ambassador.