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Signs of Bullying: Don’t Let Them Suffer in Silence.

I have a million reasons to be here.

I was inspired to write about this after having seen the video below that went viral this week. It’s amazing to me how often this is happening.

Even more alarming, how much younger and younger children are getting bullied and sadly, how many are taking their own lives. I wish more kids feel the way Jonah did because they really do have a million reasons to be here.


I went on a school trip with my daughter last month and they learned about bullying among other safety lessons.

Flabbergasted, I shockingly discovered that about 80% of my daughter’s 2nd grade class has at one point been bullied by another child. And of course this scares me deeply.

I’ve never been bullied, I guess I always had to have a very tough exterior in order not to get picked on and it always worked. For the most part, if I ever had another problem with a girl or group of girls, I never let them intimidate me–I never let them win.

I even often stuck up for other girls getting picked on and said “Hey guys, leave her alone,” only to receive an eye roll and a quiet, whispered “Whatever.”

I didn’t like it then and I sure as heck don’t like it now.

Am I guilty of ever doing it?

I can honestly think of one time in grade school and one girl in particular, she didn’t rub me the right way and I still remember her name til this day. I regretted it then and I regret it now. I feel bad for ever saying mean things and I mean it does happen.

But, often times parents think this is a NORMAL part of growing up–it isn’t.


Playful MUTUAL poking fun is normal.

Even now, at my age–I notice bullying amongst grown women but, at this point you can just brush it off and move on. Whether you choose to invest your energy in responding is up to you. If I don’t like a person, I rather avoid them and that part of my life is long over. I am open about it but, I leave at that.

Just an opinion.

Though whenever I have spoken the truth about someone or their actions, they deserved it and they know it.

But, with children who are just discovering who they are or don’t have the slightest clue who they are just yet, are so unbelievably fragile.

There are so many ways kids are getting bullied nowadays besides the scarring taunting at school, they may have to endure it at home. A place where they should feel safe and happy.

Cyber bullying.

Spreading harsh and haunting words and rumors about one child via emails, social networking sites, instant IM’s, text messages and websites.

So, what do you do if your child is being bullied?

I thankfully haven’t had to deal with this yet and I hope to NEVER have to. But, I ask my daughter every day how her day went, I’m observant. Call me paranoid but, I’m definitely concerned with her doing well in school but, I’m also concerned nothing is impeding it or making her feel less than. I remind her that if she ever, EVER has a problem–I’m always here to listen. If she has a problem, she needs to tell someone and not to listen to another child’s threat.

I often explain to her why children bully other children and that it’s not right to do either.

Kids bully because they need to prey on someone weaker or someone who stands apart in order to appear powerful or “cool” and that they don’t care if they hurt the other child’s feelings.


Image: trix0r’s photostream via Creative Commons

Signs of Bullying:

  • If you notice bruises or any other injury that can’t be explained when asked.
  • If they aren’t eating well.
  • If they aren’t sleeping well.
  • If they begin to avoid going to school or taking the bus. Or things they used to normally do.
  • They may be more moody or easily upset than usual.
  • Begin struggling with grades.
  • Come home hungry because bully is taking lunch.

Signs Your Child May Be The Bully:

  • Thinks violence is cool and OKAY.
  • Is aggressive to not only other kids but, adults and authority figures.
  • Has no sympathy for kids who are bullied.
  • Test limits to see how much they can get away with.
  • Hot tempered.
  • Threatens with force or extortion.
  • Picks on “weaker” opponents sometimes even small animals.
  • Lacks empathy.
  • Blames the victim.
  • Can easily talk their way out of something.

Bullying affects everyone involved.

If you suspect your child may be doing the bullying, don’t take a teacher’s complaint of your child personal but, dig deeper. Try to get answers and even though it may be something that is difficult to accept, there are always rooted issues that your child may need help with to surpass this.

I choose to teach my daughter acceptance and to be tolerant of others and I watch out for both signs.

I remind my daughter to always be herself no matter what and that no other child is better than another. Often times kids feel that it’s their own fault and because they are different and if they act differently the bullying would stop. But, I try to teach her a confidence to be strong and to ignore bullies.

People will say mean things, make you feel bad but, you prove them wrong and don’t give them the satisfaction of hurting you. I also remind her that if you are confident, not to do it others either.

I often tell her, if you show a bully that you don’t care and aren’t bothered they will get tired of trying and move on.

During her school trip the children were encouraged to use the buddy system and if they know a bully or are being bullied to avoid them. There is power in numbers and try to stick together with a friend whenever they can. Also, to be brave and stand up to the bully. To sternly tell them to STOP and walk away.  They also asked them to tell a teacher, sibling or anyone if they are experiencing this.

I watched from the back of the room when the police officer asked the children, by the show of hands, if they were ever bullied. I winced at thinking Gabby would raise her hand.

She didn’t.

But, maybe because I was there?

I know I worry, I know that it’s eventually inevitable but–I want to prepare her for it as much as I can because it is a very REAL issue.

I showed this video to Gabriella and I see it on the Disney channel. It’s a cute video with a good message.


Where you ever bullied growing up or is your child going through this? What did you do?

I want to know, til then cheers m’deres!

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  1. GREAT POST! I +1 and stumbled it.

    I was often bullied as a child and teen. Anytime my kids mention someone at school in a negative way or say they don't want to go to school, I ask questions to make sure they aren't been bullied.

    I think the reason bullying is becoming more common is because children have lost respect for other people. Maybe some parents are trying to be friends instead of parents or they don't want to be as strict as their parents were so they end up being too easy on their kids. I don't know. We as a society need to figure it out.

    1. Thank-you very much Kathleen, I appreciate it! Thanks for spreading awareness, I also failed to mention too that you should also watch for signs if your child is being a bully but, I think that is easier to catch then the latter. It's always best to be vigilant because kids cannot handle pressure and ridicule like we can. Once, a co-worker's YOUNG sister took her life because of cyber-bullying and I didn't know her too well but, til this day I remember her story. It touched me deeply.

  2. I watched that video a few days ago and shared it on my fb page. I must say that it made me so sad and extremely scared for my two little girls. My oldest is in Kindergarten and I am praying that she never gets bullied OR bullies anybody. I can't believe how young these kids are starting this crap! :/

  3. This makes me cry. I remember the first time I ever saw that video. I felt so awful. Fact: Bullying sucks.

    My child is just 3 years old, but I sometimes think of what her school life will be like. I wonder if she'll be a caring, thoughtful child who has empathy. I can only teach her that bullying is not right and hope that I give her the tools to deal with things if she does get bullied by others. Tools and support.

    It really is scary to see how some kids act and how they have no qualms about inflicting pain on others. Emotional pain leaves scars forever.

    So many things I worry about being a parent! Sheeesh!

    1. It's heartbreaking Christine, I think we all worry so much about our kid's safety. It's one thing to worry about outer dangers but, when you have to worry about inner dangers amongst each other is scary. The more we teach them the better.

  4. Highschool was horrible for me, and I faced bullying younger than that, but my sister was always around then to stick up for them. I know it was hard, and I don't want anyone to go through that! I worry about my kids for sure. Thanks for posting about the signs to watch for.

    1. I'm so sorry Shair, no one should have to go through that. I was luckily never picked on, I never let it happen. I also hung around with a lot of different people or "cliques" and didn't linger too much with just one. I tried to get along with everyone and it PISSED me off when I would see someone getting picked on. I never understood WHY?

      In later years, I had a few "ex-friends" feebly attempt to bully me. Became trolls on my site and tried to slander me. It never phased me though, they gave me traffic and were dumb enough to leave their IP's.

  5. I enjoyed what you wrote. I can't believe that bullying even starts in preschool! My son is 3 and I have had to tell him "you don't have to let your friends hit you". I am working hard to teach him empathy and the confidence to stand up because with the growing faceless cyber world he'll need it!

    1. Thank-you so much, I think teaching them empathy is essential but, also teaching them that bullying and related behaviour is NOT acceptable is so important too. It's not right and you're right, it's worse when they are behind a keyboard. Us at our age still have to deal with this but, we can handle it.

  6. This video was heartbreaking, as were many others I just viewed on YouTube. My child has been bullied, there's nothing worse than that or hearing your child ache and all your efforts can't stop it. Schools still turn a blind eye, let's talk this out BS….bullying is serious, it can ruin people to the point they would do something drastic. Our schools, our governments, adults need to stand up for these children. It's sick. My son is in grade 8 and although he isn't one to be bullied anymore, he was at one time. I remember him arriving home one winter day with bare feet in grade one because an older boy stole his boots and threw them over a fence….I was livid. The principal wasn't much help either with the we'll talk to the boy…blah, blah, basically do nothing. My sons best friend killed himself last year; my son still cries for him.

    Bullying needs to stop.

    I shared the vid on FB and Twitter btw.

    1. OMG, I don't know what I would do. Kids can be so mean. I'm a very tough person and though I am very easy to get along with if I'm attacked, I attack. But, I mean, these are children. I'm afraid because my daughter is very kind-hearted, passive and sees the good in everyone. Which is a great thing but, I'm afraid what will happen when this is tested.

      I believe the more we educate our children the better it will be. Or more prepared for them to reach out for help. Thanks so much for you insight, I really hope that you got to the bottom of it. You have to do everything you can for you children.

      No matter what.

  7. great post Nancy. this definitely needs to be talked about. bullying should not be accepted. ever. I don't remember kids getting bullied when I was younger. some disagreements maybe but not bullied like they are today. it's sad and makes me angry. we need to not only address who is being bullied but who the bullys are. where are those kids parents? why are schools letting them get away with it?

  8. Thank you so so much for your post. I too have been severely bullied as a child with no way to defend myself or rather a lack of skills.

    I am trying hard to spread my own word today on bullying and hope I can help any child out there in need.

    It seems like harmless fun for the bully and those around them but I as a victim can tell you its impacts are harmful and far reaching.

    My post in case anyone comes across this can be found here and if you feel the need I'd love a share after you share this post.

    Thanks so so much Nancy.

    My post – .

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