Facing Child Custody and Parent Plans Like an Adult

Facing Child Custody and Parent Plans Like an Adult
Child custody doesn’t have to be an uphill battle. Working as a team in a mature way can resolve any issues and make it easier for you and the children.
It’s one of those things that’s hard enough, so why make it harder? From schedules to family, here are some suggestions.
Discuss Where the Children Will Live
One of the biggest points of contention when it comes to divorce or separation, is where the kids will ultimately end up living.
This is what causes most of the fighting, as both parents want the children.
However, it is a major decision and one that must be made based on what is best for the children involved and not yourselves.
In many cases, a court will decide. But you can leave the courts out of it by discussing what the better option is and coming to an arrangement.
Arrange Child Custody Schedules
There is almost always a way to resolve the biggest issues. It doesn’t have to end up in court. Court is costly, can wear you down, and exposes the children to harsh realities.
If you feel the court is needed, then that is a right you have.
Only around 9% of custody cases go to trial. You can arrange schedules and custody during mediations. A good custody schedule should have minimal impact on the kids.
Consider the age of the children and let them have a say in it.
Make a Decision About Making Decisions
Coming to decisions when you are going through custody mediation can be tough. There are many things to consider, and some decisions take time to think through.
It always helps to allow time for decision-making, as the smallest ones can have a big impact.
Regular communication, such as once per week or month, gives ample time to make up your mind. Today, it’s easier than ever to communicate. Texts, video calls, and social media can remove some of the hassle.
Learn to Communicate Cordially
Setting aside time to communicate is a powerful way to get through a tough time in your life during custody arrangements. Learning to communicate cordially helps everyone get along and makes it smoother.
It might not be any easier to make decisions, but you won’t end up in a bitter dispute and the kids aren’t exposed to hate and anger.
Work on a schedule with points to bring up for each meeting. This way, each side knows what to expect, so there are no nasty surprises.
Creating a Child Custody Parent Plan
There will always be family issues. A parenting plan is a powerful strategy when arranging custody. It helps provide security and stability to the children. It also removes the uncertainty factor for each parent.
Yet a plan also offers evidence you can both refer back to:
- Write a draft and ensure each party has a copy so they can raise concerns.
- Take the children’s needs into account, such as age and location.
- Plan regular meetings to discuss the children and what needs to be done.
- Keep a record of expenses that each parent needs to pay for each child.
- Plan for costs that aren’t covered by child maintenance payments.
- Arrange the custody using common standards like the 2-2-3 50/50 rule.
- Come to amicable arrangements in private, so the kids aren’t exposed to bitterness.
Working together on a plan is an effective way to resolve some of the more concerning custody issues. With a clear plan, there is minimal fuss and less to argue about. However, it also helps the children know what to expect and provides a clear and stable arrangement for them.
Come to an Arrangement About Finances
Money is always one of the largest parts of any legal dispute. Raising children is expensive, and each party, in the eyes of the law, has legal responsibilities to pay for the raising of the kids.
These include general child maintenance. Other things will cost money, such as medical and educational needs.
Further, you will need money to pay for any legal fees, court appearances, and drawn-out mediation. In a nutshell, it saves money when you stay amicable.
Talk About Special Days and Holidays
Of course, you will want to see your children on special days. Christmas, birthdays, and other major holidays are important to parents and their kids.
These can be the toughest times to arrange custody disputes.
Each side usually believes they have the right to access the children these days, and they can cause the most arguments. A detailed custody schedule that is fair will help arrange these. But it also helps to just ask the kids what they want.
Child Custody Also Involves Wider Family
While wider family members such as grandparents, aunts, and uncles have no legal rights when it comes to custody, it is always helpful to consider them.
You can involve them as much or as little as you want, and they can be a source of help when needed.
Additionally, it is unfair to block your partner’s parents from seeing their grandchildren. Although 97% of absent parents are fathers, it doesn’t mean his parents do not want to spend time with their grandchildren.
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Focus on the Needs of the Children
It can be all too easy to get caught up in bitter disputes when arranging custody. As a result, you can end up focusing on your personal wants rather than the needs of the children.
Take a step back and think about it all logically. Communicate like adults and consider what is best for the children.
A responsible parent always considers the children first before anything else. It can also be a good idea to ask the kids what they want without pressuring them into a decision.
Working Together Helps
Discussing where the kids will live is one of the most challenging parts of a child custody case. A parenting plan can help alleviate some of the pressure.
However, any approach you take should always consider the needs of the children first, based on their age, needs, and location.
Do you have any experience with child custody and parent plans?
Leave a comment below!
— Jennifer
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I am a girl from the UK with a lot of thoughts. I left the rat race of the corporate and marketing world to be my own boss. I write about life, finances, home design, fashion, and more. Hoping to inspire people every day. I’m a writer, a reader, and an old soul.