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Happy Birthday to Me: A Letter to My Formal 20 Year-Old Self


It’s My Birthday!
Man, I am 30 today.

And in honor of a dawning of a new era, I decided to write a letter to my formal 20 year-old self.

Firstly, I want to thank every single person who sent Birthday wishes. You all are amazing and have made my day. You guys have made turning 30 pretty easy. Now I know that 30 isn’t by any standard, “old” but, it’s an embarkation into a new period in your life.

Dear Nancy,
You made it!

You thought 30 would feel so different but, it really doesn’t feel much different. At least not yet but, you’re about to embark on some of the most amazing years of life.  A life where you celebrate more stability and ownership. The developing years where you are raising your children that will help shape them.

You are with the man who is your soul mate. You will find that you guys have perfected the “perfect” marriage that works for both of you. Continue to love each other unconditionally, talk never fight like you always do and have patience with one another. He is your best friend and you his. You will fall in love over and over again and don’t you dare ever stop falling in love with him.

One thing that I will say to you is that you need to cherish the people you’ve kept in your life up to this point. They are important and even if you can count them on one hand, keep them close. You will have some really great people in your life that with time, lifestyle and maybe even distance–slip away. Some of them are no longer relevant in your life or you in theirs. It happens.


You will face some really awful, toxic people who aren’t happy with their lives. You’ll leave them behind, you’ll move on and you will see that they are alone and still miserable after so many years. You’ll also cross paths with other people who will try to take advantage but, in reality, you will see that they are still very juvenile and even a bit sick.

You’ll find that your mom was right about almost everything. The connections and friendships you keep can have a positive or negative outcome in your life. Like aforementioned, you will find people who claim to be your friends but, when things get tough they will cop-out and become hypocrites.

Forgive but, don’t forget and move on.

Now, you will experience great joy having children and when you begin to raise them. You are a young mom after all but, you’ll see after your first, the second will be easy. You will also experience a great loss when it comes to motherhood and the ability and choice every woman has.

It will be taken from you.

Weigh out your options, if the risk is too great, come to terms and enjoy the angels you were blessed with.

It will cause you a very great deal of pain. All I will tell you is that you should reconsider how you handle it when you hit your 30’s. Get more opinions, get your health BACK. You will overcompensate with eating well not healthfully, not eating at all or skipping meals. All which leads to where you will find yourself at 30. Try. You will fail but, try again until you are yourself again and you’re healthy again.

Remember that everything in moderation is key.

Make time for your kids. If your kids want your time, remind yourself that it’s THEM you do everything for. Stop what you’re doing and indulge them. Everything else can wait because time is fleeting. Your daughters will test your patience and you’ve only just begun at this point. But, be patient and love them.

Just love them.

Never stop learning. Information is something that is so useful and don’t let your love of reading go, keep writing a journal and keep that flame alive. Oh, and keep your reading list long.

Eat well and travel often.

You will love the feeling you get every single time you walk the streets or hike the scenery of places you’ve only ever read about or seen in magazines. It is something that is surreal and you will find that you have a deep love for travel. You will share this love with your husband and kids too.

Keep living your life to the fullest because you really do only live once. Be passionate but, be mindful and responsible. You’ll find that you’ve left reckless long, long behind.

The greatest thing that you’ll learn after you leave the age of 29 is that you have grown a lot. You are no longer that girl with a sharp tongue and fast fist. You think things through. You don’t solve problems the way you used to and you find yourself thinking about consequences more. This alone will allow you to make better decisions. You’ll also find that you bite your tongue more often because you realize that a lot of things or people are not worth it.

But, you still let people have it if they really deserve it.

Continue to have more compassion for those who need it and give to worthy causes wholeheartedly. Keep standing up for those who can’t on their own and expect nothing in return. Even if you do things for others and not one soul will ever know about it.

There’s so much more I can say but, I will end it with keep doing what you are doing but, never stop learning from your experiences. I’ll talk to you again when you’re 40 and see what you’ve learned then.

Keep loving your family, love your parents. Try to be patient. The older you get, the older they are getting too. Remind yourself of this ALWAYS.

Smile more.

Keep striving towards your goals, you’ll reach most, surpass lots and fail at many but, keep going. Just know that when you hit your last year of your twenties, you still have so much to learn. You will accept that you really don’t know everything and you’re actually okay with that.

Always thank your creator because it is through Him that you are blessed. You may not be the most spiritual person in the world but, you try. You really do and continue to look back on how you were raised and those principles to make better decisions in life.

Happy Birthday, enjoy your twenties because it will be a wild ride!


30 year-old Nancy

What did you learn in your twenties?

Let me know, til then–cheers m’deres!



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  1. I love your letter. Maybe I will do this to my 30 year old self in a few years.
    My recent post Great Stocking Stuffer for Teens- Flygrip

  2. Wow … where to start? I think it would take me quite a while to write this letter …. so I can appreciate the time you've invested in yours. I think my favourite part is "Just Love Them." Words to live by! And happy birthday!!

    1. Aww, thank-you. There\’s sooooo much more but, it got long as it is. We all have so many stories. 🙂 Thanks for the wishes.

  3. Happy Birthday! Enjoy your special day, awesome that you wrote a letter to yourself, what a great idea.

  4. Wow – what a letter! I didn't really start maturing until I hit 30, when my older brother died unexpectedly, then I felt the weight of responsibility for my parents and needing to grow up fast. which wasn't hard, but required some changes. Your letter is so touching, it should be published! I thought it was great for any age.

  5. Happy birthday, Nancy! In my 20s, I finished university and got my B.A. although my goals shifted along the way.


  6. What a wonderful letter, I have to tell you I am way past turning thirty but this beautiful letter is still relevant to all of us as we grow older. Happy belatedbBirthday Nancy

  7. Happy Happy Birthday from all of us to you! We wish it was our Birthday so we could party too!

    Love the letter, I learn to relax and enjoy things more. I do not need to be in control of everything for it to turn out OK.

    1. Thank-you Lisa, so I\’ve heard. It\’s not too bad, hehe, not much different (so far) but, loving it!

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