To Elope or to Have a Wedding
If you have recently gotten engaged, you may have already started wedding planning. You might find yourself getting a little stressed or overwhelmed with all of the details involved.
From table arrangements to picking the right caterers to accommodate everyone’s dietary needs. In this case, you may be wondering if you should elope instead.
Eloping can be an entirely whimsical experience. You and the love of your life run away and head to a far-off destination or you both decide to head to the courthouse and make it happen immediately.
It can also make you wonder if perhaps your loved ones will be disappointed they won’t be there for the big day to commemorate it alongside you.
If you are on the fence, here are a few things to consider between eloping and having a wedding.
Consider Hiring a Planner
Just because you are looking to elope doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hire a wedding planner. Especially if you are looking for an elopement in another country.
Along with the social pressures that are involved with an elopement, there are also other logistical factors involved.
This could include how the marriage is legalized when in another country, or where you plan on having the ceremony.
You would much rather spend your time relishing in the experience. Instead of having to scour the internet looking for permits or trying to figure out how to translate with local vendors.
You and your loved one can elope to a special destination like Iceland to have your own private wedding.
To help you save money for your romantic and intimate destination wedding, you will want to hire an elopement wedding planner.
This way, you can save and do something romantic and intimate in an international destination.
Think About You and Your Partners Needs
Having a large wedding can mean a lot of different things. Will Uncle Dan be comfortable sitting next to his ex-wife?
Should I have a singles table or will that make them feel isolated and sad?
Do I really have to stand up in front of a crowd and make a speech when I hate public speaking?
At the end of the day, your wedding is about uniting you and the person you love most. It is about the love and bond you both share. This day is about the commitment you make to one another.
What the day should not be about is everyone else.
Eloping means you may have to sacrifice having the people you love there with you. But it does mean that you are focusing on starting your marriage on the right foot.
Consider what you both want.
If you are both introverts looking to buy a house in the next year, maybe an elopement would be beneficial.
If you are both minimalists with a desire to travel, maybe it would be in the best interest of your sanity to keep it simple.
Speaking of finances, weddings can be incredibly costly. Paying for caterers, live bands, flower arrangements, and venues can all add up.
One of the biggest benefits of eloping is how much money you can save.
For some, money may not be an issue.
They may have been saving for this special day or have family who is willing to help pay for some of these expenses.
For many of those who do not have that luxury, it could mean making this special day inexpensive as well.
Eloping could be as simple as hiring an officiant and a photographer to hike up a mountain at sunset.
Maybe it could be as elaborate as paying for an all-inclusive hotel and setting up a beachside ceremony with your witnesses.
Either way, the cost of eloping is substantially less than having a full-blown wedding.
Do You Even Want The Big Wedding?
Whether it’s society, your parents, or because you see everyone else on social media having glamorous, giant weddings, you may feel some kind of pressure to have the same thing.
However, it’s important to ask yourself a very important question:
Do you even want a big wedding? Or do you feel like you are supposed to have a big wedding?
While having a wedding may be considered the conventional thing to do, it doesn’t mean it has to be your journey.
Eloping could end up being the magical experience you have always dreamed about!
But again, this day is about you, your partner, and beginning your marriage together. How you go about it should be entirely up to you.
Support Matters, But Not Entirely
This one can be kind of tricky but is vital to recognize. When family and friends do not support the relationship, it is because they feel there is something inherently wrong with the potential for you two to become married.
This means warning signs of abuse, neglect, inequality, or other varying issues that are detrimental to you as a person.
It’s crucial that you listen to your support system.
However, there is also a level of support that doesn’t always jive with everyone else.
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If your parents don’t like your in-laws, there is a level of ethnic intolerance, or are against your personal lifestyle choices in terms of religious, gender, or sexuality association, then eloping could be exactly what you need.
Support comes in many forms, and it’s important to consider the support you are getting in terms of the relationship you are binding to for the rest of your life.
When it’s all said and done, the most important thing to remember when you are considering eloping is why you would want to elope in the first place.
Whether it’s a financial stressor or feelings that your family does not approve of your partnership, you and your soon-to-be spouse are the only deciding factors that truly matter.
So, the question is, to elope or to have a wedding?
Let me know, til then—cheers m’deres!
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Nancy Polanco is a freelance journalist, lifestyle content creator, and editor of Whispered Inspirations. She is a proud Mom to Gabby and Michaela and partner and best friend to Darasak. Having worked as part of a health care team for almost a decade, Nancy is happy to be back to her passion. She is a contributor to the Huffington Post, TODAY’s Parents, and an Oprah Magazine Brand Ambassador.