Motherhood

Motherhood.

Six years ago today, at 10:25 PM my life monumentally and drastically changed forever.

The day that my daughter, my angel, saved my life.

She has taught me what love really is.

What SELFLESS love really is.

How silence can be completely beautiful when shared with her, how a simple gaze from her beautiful eyes into mine and with a touch of her little hand she could completely erase all my troubles.

And she taught me all this before she even turned one.

At this moment, I bear another little girl within my womb. To think that six-years ago it was Gabriella I carried at this exact moment. The wonder and curiosity I felt then was huge. Moreso, I was in awe that I was able to create a human being and bring her into the world. I also pondered my ability as a person, a caregiver and dare I had said it then…

A mother.

When she came into the world, she was wide-eyed and when placed in my arms for the first time, she laid her little hand on my chest and just looked up at me with such intensity. From that second, I fell in love deeply and forever and I knew then and there that I would do anything possible and in my power to make this child, MY child, happy. It still brings tears to my eyes and it is one of many moments I will never forget.

It’s a vow I’ve kept and it is one I will always work towards. Nothing could ever impede my drive.

I look at her now and I still can’t believe I made her. She is so kind-hearted, caring and loving. Talented and bright. She’s a good kid and for that, I am truly blessed.

I couldn’t have asked for more.

I look back and every decision I have made has affected her positively. My bad decisions, I’ve never allowed them to even make it into her world and I’ve corrected them immediately.

So, I look forward to continuing watching her grow. To continue to feel this indescribable feeling of love I have for her, a feeling that cannot be placed into words, only felt. A type of love so immense it bursts at the seams. I also look forward to meeting her little sister and welcoming her into the world in just a few days along with Gabby. To share my little angel, Gabriella, with her baby sister. To introduce her to such an amazing being she is.

With this little jelly bean, I plan to keep that same vow. To welcome this new little person that already has ownership of my heart.

Being a mother is a beautiful, hard, indescribable, irreplaceable, ever-learning and forever life changing role. Always a learning process, not always blue skies and rainbows but worth every single second. You never stop being a mother, it is a role you keep until you are no longer part of this world.

I cannot picture life had she not been a part of it.

I cannot even begin to describe the magnetism and aura about her. How her laughter & always positive mood are extremely contagious. To top it all off how many lives she has touched.

So, I can only thank God for my blessings and my treasures. She and her little sister are my reason for being.

I toast to another year of enjoying parenthood & another year of seeing my little baby growing up into her own little person.

Shout out to all the mommies out there who feel me! Well, I’m off to enjoy my Peanut & hopefully in a day or two, our Jelly Bean.